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Negative Space

by Bittercup

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1.
I watch the grass as it grows back. I watch the rain as it evaporates. I watch the sun as it goes down. I can only guess it will come up again. Hell on earth is knowing everything. I watch a horse. A little baby horse. It has a face... I think it has a name. I watch the sun as it begins to wane. I can only guess... I'll have to guess again. Too much of nothing leaves us with very little. I gain some faith and then I lose a limb. I can only guess it will grow back again. I watch the sun, I write a song I can only guess... I guess there is no God.
2.
The Ballroom 04:04
Night time beautifies all our dopey eyes. I wanna get dry. Night time putrifies all of our insides. I wanna get high. Night time dignifies all our little lives. All our fears are blind, naked and divine.
3.
She says, "Baby, if I asked you would you hit me? would you cut me? If you loved me, would you help me if I begged you to save me?" I couldn't touch you, if to punch you, just to hurt you 'cos you said so. "If you begged me, I would hate you. If you made me desecrate you." You are the padlock and I am the key. When you fall apart then you don't need me. "Degrade me." If you wanted me to, I could spit at you. I could lie to you. I could fuck you so hard that you split in two. If you asked me to, I'd leave you to rot in the vacuum of life without me. "If you loved me, and I liked it, you should do what I say. Pain is the rose and I want the bouqet." "I love you to shreds and I'd do what you say, but that love makes me so weak that I can't obey."
4.
I'm taken in by the scars on your skin. I'm well aware that you're damaged goods, and baby, that's why I'm here. You cry to me again, I'm attracted to the pain. I'm self aware like an invisible man who knows that he isn't there. I'm a bottomless jar of nothing. You're filling me with something that makes me feel whole. Better to wish you were dead than wish nothing at all. But don't confuse me for a saviour. I'm not here to ease your pain. I just need something to remember and you need someone to blame.

credits

released May 3, 2019

All music and lyrics composed and written by Callum Wagstaff.
All instruments played by Callum Wagstaff, except bass on tracks 1 and 3 played by Emily Riordan.

Produced and mixed by Emily Riordan at Emily's Bedroom Studio, New Plymouth.
Mastered by Sam Johnson at Rhythm Ace Studio, Oakura.

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Bittercup New Zealand

Bittercup is the personal catharsis machine of Callum Wagstaff. He hates himself and has found people enjoy the fruits of his shameful confessions, related in sweet serenades, intense outbursts and rarely anything in between.

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